What Is Executive Functioning, and Why Does It Matter?

Let’s start with the obvious: kids are not born with a user manual.

And when your child keeps forgetting their backpack, refuses to start homework, or falls apart every time plans change; you might start wondering: Is this defiance? Disorganization? ADHD? Just being a kid?

The answer might be: Executive Functioning.

What is Executive Functioning?

Executive functioning (EF) is a set of cognitive processes that act like your brain’s management system. Think of it as the CEO of the brain—responsible for coordinating, prioritizing, and regulating all the moving parts.

According to research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, core EF skills include:

• Working memory – holding and manipulating information in your head

• Inhibitory control – thinking before acting (or not saying the very loud thought inside your head)

• Cognitive flexibility – being able to adapt, shift focus, and go with the flow

These skills help us plan, start tasks, stay organized, manage time, control impulses, regulate emotions, and reflect on our actions.

Why does it matter for your child?

Because these skills don’t fully mature until early adulthood (yep, even into the 20s). And because they’re skills, not character traits, kids aren’t bad, lazy, or rude when they struggle with EF—they’re just underdeveloped in areas that are still growing.

Executive function challenges might look like:

• Consistently forgetting materials or instructions

• Meltdowns during transitions or unexpected changes

• Trouble starting or completing homework

• Getting “stuck” on one way of thinking

• Seeming impulsive, disorganized, or “spacey”

Some children have diagnosed conditions that involve EF difficulties (like ADHD, ASD, or learning disabilities), but many kids struggle with EF even without a formal diagnosis.

What does the research tell us?

Studies show that EF skills are better predictors of school readiness and academic success than IQ (Blair & Razza, 2007). They also play a huge role in emotional regulation, social relationships, and long-term mental health.

The good news? EF can be strengthened with practice and support. The brain is adaptable—what we call “neuroplastic.” So with the right strategies and environment, children can improve these skills.

What can parents and caregivers do?

EF doesn’t improve through lectures, punishments, or sticker charts alone.

Instead, kids need:

• Structure: Consistent routines and clear expectations

• Scaffolding: Step-by-step support that fades as independence grows

• Connection: A safe relationship that helps regulate stress and emotion

  
  

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present—and curious about what’s going on under the surface.

Try this at home

Next time your child is “stuck” or overwhelmed, pause and ask:

“What’s the challenge here? Is it starting the task, staying with it, or finishing it?” 

Just naming the skill helps shift your perspective—and theirs.